? What to expect

I was on a business class flight this past weekend. My intention was to finish up the letter on the flight. But the temptation to enjoy the 3-course meal and watch a movie as my toddler napped took the better of me. Hence the 2-day delay. :) I hadn't pampered myself in the last 4 months. All work and no play. Not good.

I've always loved travel no matter what the destination. Travel feels like a special occasion—especially in the post-Covid world. It offers a unique feeling that contains hope, excitement, curiosity on one hand, and doubt, fear, and suspense on the other—all jumbled up.

What you expect from your journey is key.

Having too many expectations is suffocating. It limits your capacity to explore. As you get fixated on certain ideas, your brain shuts out novel ones.

But having a bit of expectation helps us navigate our options and explore—leading to more satisfaction.

The exact same applies to parenting. A healthy set of expectations yields the best results. Having no expectations is like being a bit lost. Having too many is detrimental for our children.

Last week I explored this idea in a video. I did some acting too—less abstract and more real. :) I had so much fun when shooting and editing it. I hope you enjoy it too!

Last week I also had this fun outing with my toddler where I experienced first-hand what "having moderate and flexible expectations" ends up being like. I hope you enjoy my little personal story.

? Remember

"Every day we miss opportunities for making true connection because instead of listening and responding appropriately to our children we respond only from our own point of view and fail to make a connection to their experience.

When our children tell us what they think or how they feel, it is important to respect their experience, whether or not it’s the same as our own."

from the book "Parenting from the Inside Out"

? Read

Why you shouldn't ignore your child's bad behavior

Children communicate through behavior. "Bad" behavior is an opportunity to connect. Instead of ignoring them, offer emotional coaching—this builds the self-regulation skills they'll need for a lifetime. Read more in this article.

? Watch

The 4 parenting styles explained + role play » What would each say?

? Laugh

Emotional literacy for the win!

? Grow

Consider becoming a premium member to support Apparent, learn emotional coaching, become calmer, and lead your child's brain and emotional development to its full potential. » Become a member

Here's a selection from the member-only content. :)

Ebook: Attachment for Parents ebook

"Kids develop insecure attachment as a strategy against the unpredictable caregiving response they get. It's their way of taking control in the unpredictable relationship."

Meditation: Reaction vs. response

In this exercise, you'll practice pausing right after you feel the first bodily sensations of STRESS.

That's it for today! ❤️

If you've enjoyed this issue, consider sending it to a parent you love.

Let me know what you think! Always here for you: on Twitter and at basak@apparent.today. Or just reply to this e-mail.

See you next week!

Love, Basak.